It's time.

Some fires don’t burn you, they set you free

It’s almost time.

10:43 am.

The bell will ring in a minute or two.

Still, you feel something.

You feel her creeping in your chest and stomach. She makes your legs tremble, and your mind spiral.

She makes you question everything without even knowing it.

There goes the bell. She’s still there.

You turn.

Her eyes, captivating. Her smile, intoxicating.

The kind of things that make it hard to breathe. The kind of things that keep you up at night or day.

You enter the classroom, sit in your chair.

You see your seatmate, wave.

The teacher walks in. You turn around, once again. Searching for her.

The professor is now handing out papers.

You take one. Five questions, forty-five minutes.

You look at the exam, then her. More lost than ever.

You start to feel her presence stronger than before. You start tapping your foot on the floor.

Ten minutes pass, and you still haven’t answered anything. Your paper’s full of scribbles and question marks.

You look at her. She’s still there. You look deep into her wide, magnetic eyes, looking for an answer.

You read the first exercise again. You still don’t get it.

You start writing, erasing again and again and again.

Time’s passing so fast, like raindrops racing down the window.

You have five minutes.

You know you’re not going to make it.

You stare at the exam. Three out of five exercises written.

You’re only sure about two. You start counting, tapping your foot so aggressively it turns to pain.

Four points plus four, eight out of twenty. You’re barely passing.

You clench the corner of your desk. You feel her there.

You write something again, trying to get something right.

The bell rings. You give in your paper.

Unsure and unfocused.

You’re dismissed.

You find her, grab her hand, and start walking towards your car.

You open the door for her, and she gets in.

You start driving till you reach a field.

Throughout the drive, she’s staring. Again. Like she always is. You still feel her. Your foot’s still in pain.

You make it to the field.

You both get out.

She starts walking, looking back at you like she’s waiting for you to come with.

You stay still. Your gaze locked.

She turns. Looks you right in the eyes.

You see the wind blowing and making her hair sway. You see the way she’s still smiling. You see her eyes.

You won’t make it if she lets go forever. You feel all that pain and anger ready to be released.

It’s time.

“I can’t keep living like this,” you say.

“I CAN’T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS,” you scream.

She looks at you. Calm, still smiling.

You start feeling her creeping into your shoulders now, making them drop, like you don’t deserve to sit up straight.

“This needs to end. I’m just so tired,” you say.

You feel her slowly trying to control you, trying to make up excuses to ease your pain. Or make it deeper.

“We’re done. Forever,” you say. Calmly. Steady. Knowing that someday that needed to be done.

And it’s today.

You reach into your pocket. You grab a matchbox. You feel her in your whole body.

You spiral again.

It’s time.

You take a match, light it.

A small sparkle appears. Small but strong enough to destroy a whole forest.

You throw it to her.

She stays there.

The sparkle turns into a flame. The flame turns into a fire.

You watch her. Still there, still smiling.

The fire reaches her shoes. The pain in your feet stops.

It reaches her legs. The trembling’s gone.

It makes it to her stomach. You feel the pressure there, leaving.

It goes to her torso. You feel your chest for the first time without being tightened.

It reaches her head, and her beautiful hair. And your thoughts disappear.

She starts turning into vapor. The fire slowly dies down.

In those smoky clouds, you can still see her smile. You just don’t care anymore.

The vapor disappears into the wind. The fire has died down.

You stay there, admiring your courage, admiring the view.

Without any pain. Without any thought. Without any pressure.

You turn your back on the field and walk away.

This time, she doesn’t follow.

Anxiety is finally gone.